www.x-pose.org news blog

PHP Function to Return Mutiple Values

The trick to return more than one value in a function can be applied to any programming language, but this example is in PHP. Functions are designed to return one value, but there really is no limit to have many values that can be returned. So lets take a look at the code:

/* Example code */

list($var1, $var2) = returnYankees();
print "$var1 $var2";

function returnYankees(){
 $a = "go";
 $b = "yankees";
  return array($a,$b);
}

The code is self explanitory and I don't think I need to go into too much depth. I will say that the $a or $b values that are returned can also be arrays as well. Now you can make one complex function rather than multiple functions!

Top 5 Most Brilliantly Written TV Shows

Normally I talk about tech but something about tv shows has bugged me. . . Let�s be honest. Television writers are underappreciated and do not get the recognition they deserve. I�d like to think of them as the offensive lineman to Tom Brady�s heroics. The actor gets all the fame, but credit should be towards the writer. The writing makes the show and not the actor. Yes, that�s right I said it!

I look around on television for a quality show to watch that is both BELIEVEABLE and entertaining. I have to emphasis the believable aspect because just about nothing on tv has realistic enough dialog to make me think it can actually happen. Most of tv dialog is horrible because it can�t simply sustain itself week after week. If I don�t believe that the world the writer created is believable then they�ve lost me. So let�s get to my list of television shows that I think are the most brilliantly written. (without spoilers).

Dexter : Based on novels by Jeff Lindsay

Dexter Morgan is one of the most fascinating characters I can remember. How often do you root for a serial killer to succeed? The concept of the show is so awful that I felt bad for even taking interest to see it. The whole premise seemed to be a little bit too dark for me.

Is the show bloody? Yes. Is it disturbing? Hell Yes. Dexter is inhumanly human. He has no emotion, but he can bring it out of the viewer and other characters in the show with no problem. Jeff Lindsay created a uniquely twisted plot that snakes its way towards season finales that are simply gut wrenching. If I had a heart, it would be telling you to buy the DVDs.
House M.D. : David Shore, Lawrence Kaplow, and many many others

For those of you who haven�t seen the show, it may seem like just another doctor tv series. It seems like each tv promo is overly dramatic with Dr. House saying �Do this or SHE DIES!�. It�s true and kind of cliché, but there are so many levels to the show that it blows the viewer away. Sustained character development in House is remarkable.

The writing is so good that it can move you in merely 40 minutes. There are at least 5 stunning episodes that have to be watched multiple times to truly appreciate. The characters can be summed up as flawed brilliance. I look at the show, not as a doctor tv series, but as a satirical take on human interaction and the human psyche. People never change, except for the times that they do.

Lost (Season 1 Only) : J.J. Abrams

Lost is a show that could have easily been number one if it could have sustained perfection past the first season. Back in 2004, it started a whole new generation of tv shows that are still being felt now. The premise was revolutionary, as was the directing and the way the story was told.

I believed it. I believed everything that was happening was real and relatable and they totally sucked me in. The island was this mythical presence that the entire plot revolved around. How and why? . . . We did not know. The island was actually a main character . . . how crazy cool is that?! I remember watching the entire season 1 in less than a week. The character development was consistent and the plot moved at a pace that was just right.

I highly recommend watching season 1 but the problem is that it is too difficult for any human being NOT to watch season 2,3, etc and be disappointed. Unfortunately the show is a shell of its former self and gets progressively worse as the seasons progress. Actually, I am giving it too much credit with that last statement. It�s more like if Michael Jordan kept playing in the NBA until he�s at the age of 75 and says, �What do you mean I can�t play anymore? Didn�t you see the ball skim the rim that one time 4 months ago?�.

Seinfeld : Jerry Seinfeld and Larry David

There is not much I have to say that hasn�t already been said about this show. It is the last truly hysterical sitcom that has been created. I divide my life into Before Seinfeld (BS) and After Seinfeld (AS). To this day I (and many others) recite lines from the show with our friends. The characters never really evolved but they all remained consistently funny to who they were from the start.

Sure the plots were off the wall at times and weren�t perfectly realistic, but they were still hilarious and somewhat relatable. ( The guy was just trying to return some pants!) To write humorous and unique plots over a long period of time is extremely difficult. Not to mention they ended the show before it became bad. We felt cheated and sad that they took such a great show away from us too soon. Not to get nostalgic or anything right here but. . . Wait a minute . . . what is this salty discharge?

South Park : Matt Stone and Trey Parker

It is amazing to me that the show has been around since 1997. I still remember watching the internet video of this thing called �South Park� on my dialup modem and could not believe that Santa was fighting Jesus. It looked so horrible which made it all the better. So funny and so very wrong.

Today it is even more off the wall. They have an uncanny ability to pick out what is going on in society and make fun of it. By the time the show has ended the viewer is somehow taught a little bit about the issue to open their mind. Oh, except for that time when Cartman made that kid eat his own parents. Boy was his face red.

Digg Sucks

Recently Digg.com has been under a lot of heat. This is mostly due to their lack of speed to fix issues with their site. Whether it be for a picture section or their comment system. Today, I read that digg's brand new comment system doesn't work for Opera users and crashes their browsers. . . uhh WHAT!?

A web developer for the site said:

"But, I wanted to chime in and let you know why Opera wasn't tested. As we're planning releases and testing we have to base some decisions on numbers. Unfortunately, Opera users account for such a small number (less than 1%) of visits to Digg, it's not a browser we can pro actively test on."

Wow, talk about a cop out. 1% of the digg visits must amass to about 5000 to 25,000 users. It's not like Opera is so no name browser. Every web developer tests with Firefox, IE6,7, and Opera. That is the BARE minimum.

I really do hope that a year from now we look at their traffic stats and see that Digg lost 1/4th of its traffic due to their lack of competence. Everything they do is over complicated since they became "big". This applies to EVERY single comment system iteration. I refer to this as the "Digg way".

Defined as being overly complicated to be unique or an attempt to impress others with their "skillz".

The comment system they just put into effect is just as flawed as the rest. They overcomplicated it and screwed it all up once again. During a page load, it looks like the root threads load first, then the replies to those threads load in waves. So if you are viewing a comment midway down the page. . .expect to lose your spot because data is still loading in waves and it will screw up your positioning.

Neat huh?

Awstats will lag your box

I am fairly new to web hosting. I have been to a few different places to find a reliable host and finally found ServInt. Then lately I started to notice how slow the pages would render. My pages aren't super MySQL intensive or bandwidth intensive so it made no sense to me. Then I noticed, it was awstats!

Those of you who have web hosting and often wonder why your box has load averages close to 10 or mid 10s, look no further. Your culprit could very well be awstats. The bigger the log files, the more time it takes for awstats to update. Avoid updating site stats during the day.

My recommendation is to login to WHM and go to "Statistics Software Configuration" and modify the frequency and times. Even if it says "The server currently is able to keep up with your statistics processing schedule.", ignore that and change it anyway. I set mine to every 24hrs to run from 1am to 6am ONLY. If you don't know what WHM is or cpanel, then contact your admin and ask when the site stats update.

Fantasy Trade Analyzer

Baseball season is almost in full bloom. I say almost because the NHL and NBA playoffs are still in full swing. But once those are over, its nothing but baseball till September. Sounds great right? To make it even better, I have created a fantasy baseball trade analyzer.

I evaluate each player's worth compared to other players in the same position. A whole bunch of other stuff too, but I can't tell you exactly how its all done. Let's just say you need to have at least passed 3rd grade math to understand it all. heh.

I call this fantasy trade analyzer 1.0 because it has most of the features I wanted to include. I have a few other things planned for it to make it even better. Stay tuned!

Popcorn Hour Review

About a year ago I recommended people to buy cables to output the audio and sound from their PC to their television. This is still a viable option, but Popcorn Hour is now THE option. It is a multimedia HD/SD streaming device used to play video files on your television. Popcorn Hour absolutely destroys anything else out there, but it takes some getting used to.

Popcorn Hour (PCH) is for the type of person who can easily adapt to a new device that doesn't provide much help documentation. Basically, its for geeks. I bought it because the word was that it can play basically every format you could think of: x264, wmv, dvd iso, etc etc at only $180. It smoothly plays 1080p x264 files with dolby digital audio or DTS. A dream come true for most of us. However, the device cannot decode these audio formats, so a receiver is a MUST have to get full audio support.

In order to get smooth 1080p playback streaming over the network, myiHome needs to be installed. The reason is that a windows share (Samba) is slower going to the device. You can read the Popcorn Hour Wiki to learn more about this.

The last thing I'll say about the device is that it was built cheesy. The remote feels cheesy and so does the device. The interface isn't that great either and reminds me of XBMC in its earlier days. But guess what? None of that matters since it works and the firmware is constantly updated every month. Look no further for the do it all device.

Intel Q9450 Overclocked

I recently purchased Intel's new Q9450 and wow does it scream.  Those of you who own one should overclock it to its potential.  I am currently running it at 3.5ghz with the FSB at 440.  Vcore is at 1.4 and northbridge is at 1.55.  You may have better luck than me nad reach 3.6, so try it out.  If you aren't sure how to go about doing it, then head on over to Anandtech's forums for more help.

I used to have an AMD X2, 2.9 ghz, with DDR memory, and an 8800 GT.  I figured Crysis would play decent since the graphics card is fairly new and it was dual core.  Boy was I wrong.  Couldn't play it on High, and medium would lag at times and just looked crappy at 1280 res.

Now I upgrade to Quad core, DDR2, and a new mobo using the same graphics card and can play it on Very High.  It is remarkable how much of a difference it makes with this CPU.  This game HAS to be played on at least High to really appreciate how great it looks.  Though the game got lame killing flying aliens.

Perfecting Celebrity Gossip Titles

Celebrity gossip isn't something I normally touch on at this website, but I am compelled to help out others. On social news websites I see people submit stories all the time. In fact, most of those stories have horrible titles. As we all know, a title is critical to drive traffic and interest. Here is a rundown on how to write titles more effectively.

Do not create wordy titles. I will use an actual title from a story I saw submitted at a celebrity gossip site: "Robert Downey Jr. Reveals Stars are Promiscuous on Set | Backseat Cuddler" People will not be googling the term "Promiscuous" any time soon since it is hard to spell. So lets change it to something that people might actually google: "Downey Jr Says Celebs are Slutty". The story in itself probably isn't interesting either way, but at least with my title it has a better chance at success.

Secondly, the title of the story has the websites name in it. That is a terribly bad thing to do. The goal is to write a title that will attract the average reader *and* google hits. Adding the title of the website it was submitted from will completely ruin Google's attempt at narrowing down what keyword to assign to the story. Keep it short and simple.

Finally, just be smart and try to think ahead. Think to yourself, "now if I was searching for this story, what keywords would I write in the search box"? Just a few days ago I created a story called "Kobe Bryant Jumps Over Car" and submitted it to the site. It appeared in the top 3 on various google searches for around 24hrs and received over 6,000 views in one day. It was a single day record by keeping the title simple and to the point.

Hopefully this helps you guys to create better titles on stories.

Fantasy News Portal

Baseball season is upon us, which means spring is just about to get into full swing. This also happens to be the time I am launching my next website. I present to you my fantasy news website.

Fantasy-news.net is a sports portal site that focuses on the fantasy sports aspect of it. It collects player news, team news, and injury news from around the web and puts it all in one easy to use spot. No more going to 3 fantasy sites trying to find the latest news. I even include a list of fantasy surprises from the last 7 days to help showcase some of the lesser known players that you should pick up.

I am also working on its mobile fantasy features that will really allow the site to shine. For example, lets say you are at someone's wedding and you are thinking about your fantasy team. You think, "If only you could search for player news and stats from your cell phone for free"

Well, soon you will be able to text a certain email address with "n Derek Jeter" and find his latest news. Better yet, text "s Derek Jeter" and see his stats from the last 5 games. All free. You won't need to have a web browser.

If you like the site, then please tell your fantasy friends. :)