1. The dreaded, "Can you help me with [insert thing here]?" This actually means that you need a step by step process on how to complete your task. Ultimately, we would be doing 95% of the work and get none of the credit. I have my own fucking work to do. Why don’t you sit down and spend 5-20 minutes and learn it yourself.
2. Friend, thanks for coming over and leaving a bit torrent client open for 12hrs while you try to download a horrible Dane Cook standup and got my cable capped at 300k/s. I APPREACIATE IT.
3. Listen hot chick, I don't care how hot you are, I'm not helping you with your stupid excel spreadsheet problems. (Then you take a closer look at this girl's choice of attire and her g-string. ) . . .So what cell was it again that was giving you problems?
4. Group work is our worst nightmare because we just assume the rest of you are idiots. 9/10 times we are right.
5. Anything you hear on the news/myspace I heard about 4 weeks ago on IRC. Thanks for boring me to death.
6. Speaking of myspace. . .No, I don’t think it’s the coolest thing ever. I knew about this way before the rest of the morons ever joined and ruined it. At this point, I only have my account because my "friendid" number is so low compared to yours it'd be stupid of me to delete my account.
7. No, you can't use my computer. Not only because you might stumble upon my porn, but because I am afraid you will infect my computer with 600 spyware applications that I will have to spend 2hrs removing.
8. We say "Google it" to be nice. Keep asking and you will get fuckinggoogleit.com in the next email. If that doesn't work, all future emails/IMs are permanently ignored.
9. IM'ing me "what's up" every other day makes me instantly close the window. Just say what you gotta say. Women, you are guilty of this more than guys are. I don’t care how bored you are.
10. 1/10 Youtube links that you say are “so fucking funny” are actually really stupid and I close in 10 seconds.

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